So, here I sit. Fresh screen. Fresh ideas. Fresh fear.

I have always loved writing. I would write stories all of the time when I was a child. Generally rainbows and princesses and rescuing, but stories nonetheless. My favorite class in college, and one that I actually obtained an A in (trust me I can count my undergrad A’s on one hand), was Fiction Writing. I LOVED it. I wrote a couple of short stories, shared ideas with other students, and really became immersed in the idea of writing. But then reality, and the inner voice of fear, came screaming at me. Did I really think I could be a best-selling author? Nope. So, I became an English teacher. I’ve decided most English teachers are people who want to be authors, but don’t know how. (If  you are not, I apologize for that generalization). 

Throughout the last few years I have heard the whisper in the back of my head, “Write a book. You can do it.” I would always sketch a few notes, jot some things down, and then forget about it. I mean, did I really think I could be a best-selling author? Enter New Year’s Day 2014. The dreaded New Year’s resolution time came, and I was certain I didn’t have any. I workout at least 4 times a week doing CrossFit, which you will hear about if you continue to read this blog; I eat well about 80% of the time; I don’t smoke, so there’s that; so I was sure I didn’t need to set resolutions. I’m good. Then a friend asked me, “What are your New Year’s resolutions?” I looked at her and answered as matter-of-factly as if I had planned it the entire time, “To write.” Huh? Did I just say that? Ok, so I guess that’s my resolution. To write. So here I am.

Still thinking it’s kind of silly, I was standing in my Pastor’s office yesterday asking him a question. He is also my cousin, so it’s not a big, serious kind of question. Just a friendly visit. I see a book on his desk and part of the title is Punch Fear in the Face…. I remark how I could use a book like that, not even thinking of my writing, just life in general. I mean, can’t we all? So, Mark, being Mark, rips his bookmark out of the book and hands it to me. As I protest, I realize he’s not going to give in. I tuck the book under my arm, thank him profusely, and finish our conversation. I had some time today, so I read the first chapter. Let me just say this, God is funny. The book is about embracing our dreams, and busting out of the average life. The entire first chapter was about how this author, Jon Acuff, met his fear head on, and began writing. It could have taken place in my head. If he hadn’t made remarks about his family, I would have believed it was my thought. I think the conversation in my head with God went something like this, “Fine. FINE. I get it.” He didn’t need to tap me on the shoulder any more. Do I still think I’m capable of being a best-selling author? No. But, let’s see where this takes us, right?

So, this is me practicing. I’m not going to write a novel if I haven’t written so much as a note to a friend in 12 years. The Fiction Writing class was 14 years ago for crying out loud (ugh, I’m old). I decided I should start blogging, like the rest of the world, to hone my skills, my quick wit, and other dazzling abilities. We will see how this goes. There is not theme or set of ideas I am wishing to communicate, just my general musings. So, if you continue on with me, bless you. And, go easy on me.

 

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